Normally, you'd think a blog like this would start with "Only in Japan would they dream up some wacky tech like this." But this comes from China. My guess is that there is an oversupply of speaker components, and they dumped it all into this phone.
Now wouldn't it be ironic if the phone had poor reception?
Shooting rocks with your slingshot is so last decade passe'. But a media group in Berlin has somehow made it all cool again. They created a digital slingshot, where you input a SMS message on the device, aim it at a giant wall, and then fire away. The result? The message gets splattered on the wall.
Life is a journey. In fact, one could say its more like an RPG, where the main character (you) sets out on a 70 to 100 year quest to find themselves. Wouldn’t it be great if there was an easy way to check your stats and level up? Turns out there’s an app for that. Doing laundry was never so much fun.
During our visit to LucasArts at E3, we got a chance to check out some highly anticipated titles. One of those was the long-awaited sequel to Monkey Island, Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge. Not only did The Kartel get a sneak peak at the game, we got the scoop on a potential iPhone and iPad port.
So I debated long and hard about whether I should be writing this blog. But for such a gadget loving crew we got here, how can we not at least make a mention of the snazzy new iPhone 4? In many ways, this is the phone that iPhone lovers have dreamed about from the beginning when we first heard of the fancy phone Apple was going to bring to market. So what new fandangled features does this beaut come loaded with, and what's the one big unforgivable problem with owning this phone?
It's not really an apology, but it does look like an admission that the system wasn't the success they thought it would be. In an interview Sony Computer Entertainment UK Sales Director Mark Howsen made a brief statement saying that new PSP Go owners would get 10 free games for registering their system.
There are numerous reports that suggest there will be a new PSP (aliased PSP2), debuting sometime this year. Though reported details are inconsistent, there seems to be plenty of speculation about what the new Sony handheld will include. I doubt it will have all the ridiculous, unfathomable, jaw-dropping features the iPhone 4G will have, but it is said that the PSP2 will have a good number of features to keep us techies intrigued. With all the crazy gadgetry being released nowadays, it's not suprising that Sony is willing to revamp their handheld console. But enough rambling, let's check out these potential features!
Handheld gaming has become such a huge part of the modern gaming industry. With graphics and gameplay starting to rival their bigger console brothers, it's hard to imagine that once upon a time portable gaming was a mere novelty. The time of old LCD games were filled with many failed experiments, and while the gaming was primitive, these original portables helped pave the way for what handheld gaming has become. Truly, if not for these, the handheld market might look very different.
Alright, I’m going to be completely frank: I haven’t actually touched my PSP since November 2009, when Kenka Bancho: Badass Rumble was released. There are so few titles on the platform that have actually been interesting to me, but I have to admit I would really regret not owning one considering those rare, special titles that get put out every once in a while. Patchwork Heroes is one of those games, and you should start it downloading right now while you read this.
One Million Tons of Awesome
Patchwork Heroes (in Japan One Million Ton Bara Bara) is the latest title from that most talented of developers, Acquire, whose most recent set of endeavors/projects/works includes the delightfully quirky Holy Invasion of Privacy, Badman! What Did I Do To Deserve This?, and if you’ve enjoyed any of Acquire’s previous work, you have absolutely no reason to fear Patchwork Heroes as being anything less than a quality title.
In 1981, Taito released an arcade game called Qix. The gameplay was relatively straightforward: Slice/claim/cut/cordon-off a majority of the field of play by drawing out rectangles of different sizes while avoiding a roaming “enemy” that limited the size and speed of the player’s slices. Patchwork Heroes takes this gameplay mechanic and essentially inverts it by giving the player the goal of slicing apart enormous flying warships before they reach the player’s town and bomb the hell out of it. Interested yet? If not, you should turn in your Man Card immediately. Chicks are exempt due to extreme awesomeness, obviously.
Ridiculously Quirky Yet Artistically Unique
In Patchwork Heroes, players take on the role of Titori, a sky captain of a small town which comes under almost constant, daily assault from immense flying warships. Armed with a saw as tall as a man and accompanied by three other members of the village, Titori sets out on each mission to saw apart the warships as quickly as possible, before they lay waste to his home. While the premise sounds dark, it’s delivered through wonderfully cute cutscenes done in a style reminiscent of South Park – that is, construction-paper cutouts. Character dialogue is delivered as a Simlish (that being the language of the Sims) analogue and the game is rife with quirky, typically Japanese humor. Accompanying music is a strange mix of brass band and Middle-Eastern influences that’s easily memorable and quite catchy, but tends to get a little obnoxious as the game goes on.
The game is controlled from a top-down perspective, with the player character at the center of the screen. Players use the D-pad or analogue stick to move around, and saw through chunks of the ship by holding down the O button. Each stage is timed, with the timer representing how far the warship is from the town, but this can be increased by sawing apart the warship, which will slow down the timer and give the player more leeway to muck about. Logically it follows that when the player saws off massive chunks of the ships, they’re slowed significantly more, and a larger score is attained.
Airships Don't Have Sea Men or Poop Decks...But They've Got Robots
Without defenses, of course, the ships would be foolishly vulnerable. Robots and missile turrets tend to populate the hull, and the player has no direct attack function to deal with the little buggers other than to saw the ships apart and catch the enemies on the bits which fall away. Additionally while the player’s saw is mighty, or perhaps the ships are just made of balsa wood for the most part, there are certain sections that are reinforced with steel which require special attention to deal with. Remember how Titori is accompanied by three of his village buddies? Those guys have a dual purpose; They act as a shield, dying in the event Titori comes in contact with a robot or explosion or missile, and they place bombs, subsequently sacrificing themselves to blow a big chunk off the ship. Indeed, at some times the only possible way to progress is by blowing a reinforced support away with one of your faithful buddies. Fortunately, your friends can be replaced by freeing captured villagers from various prison cells stashed around each ship. Reinforced ship hulls can also be sawed through with a Mojo Attack, a special function the player can activate after building up sufficient Mojo by defeating enemies or collecting Mojo items across each stage. Activating the Mojo Attack makes Titori invincible for a short time and significantly increases the speed of sawing, but causes the player to sacrifice maneuverability.
It's Rare To Have This Much Fun for $10
Aside from the 30-stage story campaign, Patchwork Heroes provides a ton of additional content through challenge missions, around 50 in all. Challenge missions work pretty much the same as the traditional story mode stages, however they impose specific rules on the player that require them to complete each level using specific items or with only a certain number of bombs, and other various on the idea. The game's difficulty can ramp up very fast, but it's forgiving enough to make that a non-issue. The inherent replay value of the title is directly linked to its subject matter, as I can't imagine putting up with the frustration some of the later levels impose if I was tasked with knitting a doily or cutting away the fat from raw chicken or something equally monotonous.
At $10, Patchwork Heroes is a game nobody that owns a PSP should miss. Its colorful graphics run absolutely flawlessly on the handheld with minimal loading times and no loss of framerate, its addictive gameplay is only enhanced by the simplistic yet interesting story of the single player campaign, and the additional 50 challenge maps add several hours of replay value. You aren't likely to get so much game for so little money on this platform in a while.
Alright, I’m going to be completely frank: I haven’t actually touched my PSP since November 2009, when Kenka Bancho: Badass Rumble was released. There are so few titles on the platform that have actually been interesting to me, but I have to admit I would really regret not owning one considering those rare, special titles that get put out every once in a while. Patchwork Heroes is one of those games, and you should start it downloading right now while you read this.
The video game handheld world has become one of hardcore gaming, dual screens, and amazing graphics. Unfortunately, it wasn't always like this. The handheld world was once full of uncertainties, failing systems, and even crappier games. And still today, we harken back to those days of sadness and woe. Here are - you guessed it - the worst handheld systems of all time.
So I debated long and hard about whether I should be writing this blog. But for such a gadget loving crew we got here, how can we not at least make a mention of the snazzy new iPhone 4? In many ways, this is the phone that iPhone lovers have dreamed about from the beginning when we first heard of the fancy phone Apple was going to bring to market. So what new fandangled features does this beaut come loaded with, and what's the one big unforgivable problem with owning this phone?
